Yes the blessing and battles come hand in hand....A wedding and the first chemo treatment! Wow what a week it has been.
My drains finally came out 2 weeks ago and Scott and I finally got married. March 17th. (nothing to do with St. Patrick's day). We ate lunch and took off for Nashville. The wedding was very sweet! I wore a black dress....yes, I said black. No, I was not in mourning. The dress looked good, so I got it. It is a second wedding, so I was not worried about "rules". I will post some pictures. Scott and I were so happy to finally be getting married. We were so excited to be heading to Nashville too and not just for the reasons you are thinking right now....stop that! We stayed in the Opryland Hotel! We stayed there back in December when we went to see Garth Brooks, but only stayed one night in an inside room. One of Scott's best friend's got us a limo to take us to the concert. It was the best concert. When we got back it was 1 in the morning and we just didn't have much time to enjoy the Opryland. We decided to go back for our honeymoon, or money moon as Scott calls it! We had an atrium view room this time. If you ever get a chance to go, it is incredible. We went to the Grand Ole Opry on Friday. I had chills being in there. We saw Joe Diffie, Mark Willis, Eric Church, and Marty Stuart, not to mention a bunch of other people. We had a blast and I was able to walk right up to the stage to get pictures. We also went downtown and toured the Ryman where the Opry began. It was pretty cool to see the dressing room where Hank Williams got ready. We stood on the stage and got some pictures too. We walked up and down music row and went in several places including the Wild Horse Saloon. They have the best fried pickles if you ever go! It was the sweetest wedding and the best honeymoon. I am so happy that we are finally married and in the same house. Riley is also much more secure now that we are in Scott's house and his dog sleeps by her bed. She loves it! Funny how the more you are with someone, the more you want to be with them. I know....I'm a newly wed! You don't have to tell me! He has stayed by my side through all this and tells me I'm beautiful all the time even when I look my worst. Breast cancer hasn't scared him away!!! I love him that much more for it!!!
On to chemo....today was my first treatment. Honestly, I was not scared or nervous at all. I don't want to take away anything from what other women with breast cancer have experienced, but this is not the worst thing I have ever dealt with. I know it could have potentially been deadly, but thankfully we caught it early enough. My mastectomy was the 10th surgery I have had, so I was just leaving it in God's hands. I'm so thankful for the peace God has given me with this. I want to share with you all the ways God has been working in my life all these years in my sickness, but I want to tell you about today first.
When I washed my hair this morning, I thought ..."hmmm, I won't have to worry about ALL this hair in a few weeks". Right now, I am not worried about losing my hair. I am NOT a vain person and if you know me well, you know that for sure. I tend to forget to put lipstick on and just throw my hair up alot. My mom always told me growing up when you get up, take a shower, get dressed and put on your makeup and you will feel better. Well, I guess I am just a rebel to some degree because I love hanging out in my pj's as long as I can. My way of not feeling like I was being controlled I guess! So immature, but it stuck with me. I still like to sleep in as long as my body will allow and love NOT being like everyone else! I never had big hair, neon clothes, and hated shoulder pads in the eighties. I don't do all the weird stuff, I have just never liked being in the spotlight. Isn't that kind of ironic since every thing in my life has thrown me in the spot light and I'm writing a blog about it!! God has this way with me that makes me not scared and fearful of things. I always hated the thought of someone having to take care of me (as an adult), then BAM.... I was on my back in the hospital 4 years ago with bowel obstructions and was out of work for 8 months (i'll get to that later too). No, I don't think God made me sick, but I do think he took my sickness and made them work for his glory! I was forced to let someone take care of me and I was forced into the spot light and guess what .....I am no longer scared of either. I do feel a little uncomfortable with the spot light, but I am not scared. Battles and Blessings......
With all that said.....Chemo is not a monster I am scared of! I may not be doing cartwheels when my hair falls out, but I don't think I will be crying a river either. Besides, I won't have to worry about shaving!! It will be the summer time and alot of hair makes you hot! I threatened to shave a mohawk when my hair started falling out....just long enough to take pictures mom! I gotta have fun with it!
So, when I got to the office, they took my blood to check blood counts and then took me to this big room with about 8 chairs. I wanted a private room, but they were full. I don't mind being in the room with other people, but my mom was with me and if I talked to my mom I didn't think everyone wanted to hear it. There were several people in there and I found out....not only do they want to listen, they want to share as well. I think my mom was a little apprehensive about it when one lady started talking to me. She had breast cancer and it came back twice and she warned me to look for symptoms of lung cancer and colon cancer. She had colon cancer as well. I told her I don't have a colon anymore so I didn't have to worry about that, thankfully. I could see the concern in my mom's eyes. She was worried about me getting scared. I reminded her when the lady left that it didn't bother me at all and she shouldn't worry either. I just don't worry about what MIGHT happen. I promise, I don't worry like I did when I was little. The ulcerative colitis I had for 18 years before I had my colon removed forced me to learn to relax and not worry!! YET....another blessing! by the way even though I don't have a colon anymore, the "plumbing" is all in tact. I had the "j-pouch" surgery which takes part of the small intestines to create a "pouch". I am very glad I did it even with all the bowel obstructions....Anyway, when I got to the big room and heard several stories, the nurse started my pre-meds. They had stuff for nausea, steroids, and benadryl in case I had a reaction. I felt a little sleepy, but didn't go to sleep. One of my mom's friends showed up to give me a "prayer shaw". She prayed with me and talked for a while. It was very sweet. Also, my friend Leslie showed up and talked for a while. She has had breast cancer as well and has walked me through this whole process. As a matter of fact, she was the first person I told before I even called the doctor. She has been awesome!! After the pre-meds, she started the Taxatere. I didn't have a reaction, thankfully. It took about an hour and then she started the Cytoxin. I had a weird feeling in my nose and on the back of my head. Overall, it was not a bad experience. I may be saying something different in the next few days, but right now I feel GREAT. I will do better keeping this updated, I hope.....AND pray for my friend Kim.... she is having a tough battle right now, worse than mine! Pray she gets through this and finds her blessings along the way!!!
until next time ....May the peace of Christ be with you and look for the blessings among the battles. You will find them.
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